Mama Bird Checking In

Photo on 8-11-14 at 1.52 PM

Hello from 32 weeks!

I have to admit, I totally thought “nesting” was a myth.  I don’t remember having any nesting tendencies with my other two pregnancies, but this time?  Affirmative.

In the last couple of days, I’ve scrubbed the carpet, swept/mopped/vacuumed all floors, cleaned mirrors, done about 11 loads of laundry (including towels, sheets, comforters, shower curtains, pillows…), cleaned both bathrooms (even scrubbed the bathtubs, which I often skip in favor of a quick wipe-down), reorganized and decluttered and rearranged all the toys and closets and bookshelves, and set up the pack and play and carried it around to all of the different places I might want to use it to make sure it fits. I have a (small) list of things I need to acquire before bebe is born, and I’ve had to talk myself out of multiple Amazon purchases (because really…there’s plenty of time). And last night, as I was going to bed I was suddenly struck with the thought that I really should get my hospital bag packed.  (8 weeks early….?)

So I suppose that’s nesting–for me, at least.  I’m sure to some of you, that looks like a normal week, but my bar of productivity is set pretty low.  😉

Mentally, I’ve been doing really, really well for a couple of months.  I’ve been able to be a lot more involved with the boys, and I’m enjoying them so much more lately.

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That doesn’t mean that they don’t still make me crazy sometimes (like when I’m trying to clean up after dinner and have to keep breaking up naked wrestling matches and snapping go get your pajamas on right now or I’m not reading any stories tonight!! while the natives run screaming around the apartment like gleeful little banshee nudists).

But overall, and in spite of some personal shit that I’m dealing with right now (and trying, unsuccessfully as always, not to obsess about–my brain just loves a good obsession) things are good.

Really good.

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Things You Aren’t “Supposed” to Have When You’re Pregnant

20140717_153649[First order of pregnancy: make sure to take lots of precious “hand framing the bump” shots.  The classics never go out of style.  ;)]

So you’ve peed on that little magic wand and it told you you’re gestating a small human.  Congratulations!  Your next step is to stalk babycenter, babble, and other pregnancy websites (you know, the ones you’ve been secretly reading anyway while you’ve been TTC) for the next several months and throw yourself into a panic.

It’s okay, we’ve all been there.

As a seasoned pro (chortle chortle), let me assure you that it is very important to follow all of the rules.

Let’s begin.

You should never eat sushi.

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Ever.

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Or soft, unpasteurized cheeses.

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[Brie on toast, get in my belly.]

Don’t take hot baths.

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Or eat raw eggs.

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[If you’re going for the boxed stuff, I highly recommend Ghirardelli.]

And sorry, but you’re going to have to give up your daily coffee.

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And that nightly giant mug of beer.

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[Kidding. That one, at least, wasn’t mine.  I may be a rule breaker but I have managed to abstain from imbibing.]

And get rid of your cats.  They’re just disease incubators waiting to infect you.

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 The face of illness.

During the coming months, you will be bombarded with advice from all sides.  It is very important to follow all of it, all the time.  Especially when it comes from random strangers.

Good luck, mama-to-be.  May your sense of humor be with you.

Keyboard Confessional

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I suppose my first confession should be that I may have more pictures of my cats than I do of my kids.  What can I say…cats hold still and kids don’t.

 

I bought an apple pie at Costco a couple of days ago.  What was the occasion, you ask?  Oh, just me.  Wanting apple pie.  And it is basically gone now.

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Can I put “ability to demolish an entire apple pie without assistance” on my resume?

 

The other day I was reading the boys a story and when I came to the phrase “tuck them” I read it with an ‘f” in my head.  I realized it just before I said it out loud.  What is wrong with you, this is a children’s book!

 

I’ve lied (omissions! gentle untruths!) to my OBGYN a couple times.  I like to keep certain things on a need-to-know basis.

 

And speaking of doctors…I am addicted to internet diagnosis.  Nothing passes idle time like googling all of your symptoms.  WebMD has assured me that I have at least 5 types of cancer.  It’s a miracle I’m still alive.

 

And for my final divulgation, I have to say that as adorable and demanding as babies and toddlers are…I’m enjoying the boys so much more now that they are older.

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Although I admit that the recent demise of naptime is something I am not handling very well.

 

 

Just One of Those Days

Photo on 6-3-14 at 1.50 PM

This is the song on repeat in my head right now.

 

so I crawl underneath my blankets

where I can hide away, I know I can’t take it anymore

’cause I see now it’s just one of those days

 

I know quoting song lyrics is very Mysapce circa 2005…I suppose this means I’m forfeiting my rights as a card-carrying member of the adulthood club.

Ah well…being an adult sucks sometimes anyway.

So, as a preface, everything is fine.  Life is going along just swimmingly.  I just need to talk.

Photo on 6-9-14 at 7.07 PM #2[Unrelated picture…Hobbes has been so, so snuggly since I’ve been pregnant.  He loves to chill on my belly.)

Some days, even for a couple of weeks sometimes, I feel really good.  Everything is just brighter, I enjoy doing things and don’t mind interacting with people.  I’m sometimes impatient and I’m often quite tired, but it doesn’t completely derail me.  I have this sort of optimistic energy bursting out from inside me, and I can handle things.

These are the days or weeks when we do tons of messy art projects, and the times when I scrub down the fridge and vacuum the car and even clean the freaking garbage disposal.

This is when I reorganize the house, or plan an entire homeschool year, and basically feel equipped to tackle any problem.  I even seek out problems, because I am a Badass Problem Solver and that is just how I roll.  I decide I want to have seven kids and homeschool them all while we live on gorgeous acreage in the middle of nature in an Earthship that we built with our bare hands.

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[Don’t worry, I only have about 50 more of these.]

And then, overnight, that energy is gone.  Sucked from my body, leaving me an empty, exhausted shell.  What goes up must come down–the physics of life, right?

These are the days when everything seems hard.  The days when no amount of coffee can force me out of the haze.  Things are dimmer, as if there’s a fog obscuring everything and dulling all the colors, all the feelings.  They’re still there; I can just make them out through the mist but I can’t quite touch them.

These are the days when my body is filled with sand–heavy, wet sand.  Just standing is exhausting, and being asked to push a swing or locate a shoe literally makes me want to cry.

I don’t need a break, I don’t need time alone.  I get plenty of that, and it doesn’t help.  Not during these days.  The feeling, the greyness, persists when I’m alone, except now it’s staring me in the face while the minutes tick slowly by.  Nights are long because I don’t even know what to do with myself.  I can’t focus on or engage with anything, so the “read a book or watch tv or call a friend” list is moot.  And yet, I dread going to sleep, because morning, waking up to simultaneous weariness and tension in my body and staring at another day with endless hours to fill, will come too soon.

But nothing is permanent.  The good days don’t last, the bad days don’t last.  I take comfort in knowing I’ll be flying high again.  I just need to wait.  Find a way to pass the days, and wait.

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This Just In

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They’re going to have a sister!

Excitement all around.

 

 

So I Should Probably Mention

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14.5 (…ish) weeks, due date sometime in the first week of October (there’s been some confusion because I’m measuring a little big–shocker–hopefully the next ultrasound will clear it up).

We were very (!) surprised when we found out back in February, but are thrilled in spite of the seemingly less-than-ideal timing (Silas leaves for 4th year rotations in a few weeks, and none of his rotations are in this state.  So there’s that).

This pregnancy has been vastly different from my last two.  Tesla and Desmond think it’s a girl and have suggested the name Garter*.

They also think the baby is going to crawl out of my mouth when it gets bigger.  There are obviously a few gaping holes in their knowledge of functional anatomy.

So!  The adventure begins.  (Again.)

 

 

*Garter is not currently in the running for names.